Via a covid-app notification I found out my boyfriend is a boulderer

Dear Truus,

I have suspected my boyfriend to be lying to me for a while now. When it was still a suspicion it was fine. You can hide it away, pretend you did not notice, pretend nothing is going on. But now that I have the facts laid out for me I can not run away from it any longer: because of the Covid app, I have come to realise my boyfriend is a boulderer. I feel betrayed and crushed. How could I have been so ignorant? Because of hís mistakes, we are stuck in quarantine now. All because he used to have secret Cube sessions. All because he missed bouldering so much, he met up with his friends to ‘builder’ on the campus. If the campus-builderers hadn’t caught Covid I would never have found out. He would have never told me! My relationship has been a lie! The red flags are so clear to me now. This winter, he suddenly wears beanies. Even on the warm days! He never used to do that! And in addition to that, he stopped wearing protection. I should have known, boulderers don’t use a rope as protection either! How should I tell him that even though you don’t have to worry about protection, it is not as good as the real thing? Oh Truus! What should I do! I still want to continue rock climbing, as a decent human being should! I am só afraid of him building an at-home-boulder-gym! Help!

Kind and desperate regards,

Anonymous.


Dear Anonymous,

I have to admit that this was a tough one to swallow, even for me. And I have read a lot of letters from climbers, who had terrible things happening to them. His choice to become a boulderer has enormous consequences to you too. The future might not only bring you a boulder gym, but it will likely also contain a lot of trips to Bleau. If you want to continue this relationship, you will have to adapt to the changes, but so does he! You should still be able to continue rock climbing. With protection and all. Talking about protection, that choice should be one you are both confident in. Charlie and I have had our arguments as well, but he is still standing by my side. Although I have to admit your boulderer-dilemma is very big. I don’t know if I would accept Charlie to convert in such a way. Whatever your decision may be: know there are a lot of climbers in this world. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. And a lot of water in the sea. And the sea doesn’t primarily contain quality-fish. Well, anyway, goodluck.

Kisses from your favourite auntie!

(Page modified on .)